Monty and Morgion 046: Waiting for Neo

16May03 (Monthenor): So this comic didn't actually happen, but the line for Matrix: Reloaded was entertaining enough. First, this guy gets dropped off by his girlfriend. He asks what time the box office opens, and then reveals that he was actually at the sneak preview Wednesday night, but was too drunk to remember any of it. Is that any way to live? And then some bored twit gave us a drive-by mooning, a image that will surely find its way into my nightmares. Just like in the Star Wars line, it made me wonder which is more pathetic: people with the time and inclination to wait in line for a movie, or the people that take time out of their day especially to go taunt the first people.

I've been seeing lots of negative reviews about the new Matrix. People who thought they talked too much; people who thought it was all flash and no plot; people who were too drunk to remember anything. I don't know what the big deal is. It's got great action, although the camera work gets a little blurry (Neo's so fast!!). It's setting up plot for the third movie to resolve, so it suffers from a little middle-movie syndrome. But overall it's an awesome action flick with more philosophy than anything else coming out of Hollywood these days. Whether these two concepts mesh for you will determine your level of enjoyment.

All Alien Overlords Welcome
05.17.03 (Morgion)

It is truly unfortunate that The Matrix: Reloaded has been getting poor reviews; I agree with Monty that it suffers from mid-trilogy syndrome. Anyone that went into Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers expecting a conclusion or a paradigm shift in the nature of Middle Earth was ignorant, ill-informed, or just dumb.

What I've read in a few reviews (including "Neo Con - The Matrix Reloaded: We waited years for this?" by David Edelstein and "The Matrix - It's Harry Potter with guns" by Chris Suellentrop) is not that there too much dialog; they complain that the dialog didn't do anything. Mr. Edelstein calls it as "tin-eared". I call it unfortunate, but inevitable. We know the revelation of the Matrix; it's kinda hard to top "your life isn't real, oh, and you're a battery".

Reloaded's dialog may not have been earth-shattering, but it was coherent (excepting the text dump of the Architect, which was only intriguing, at best) around the film's central theme: choice versus the destiny of cause and effect. Even the ramblings of the Merovingian were entertaining (and knowing the creative history of the Merovingian doesn't hurt either). It has its share of surprises and reversals… oh yeah, and the ass-kicking. The freeway chase was the best in my opinion, although all sequences were at least visual icing for the sweet soundtrack cake. Um, nummy.

Why the alien overlords? Because people are terminally stupid, as proven by The Language Police by Diane Ravitch. The secret censorship of textbooks and test materials is rampant. Stories about the nature and implied nutritional benefits of peanuts are omitted because it may distract or confuse children who are allergic to peanuts.

Aesop's fable of The Fox and the Crow displayed gender bias; true, but unfortunately, these people want to rewrite history, not learn from it. So said the "bias and sensitivity review panel" of the test publisher: "the crow—a female—is vain an foolish, while the fox—a male—is intelligent and clever." Interesting that the panel didn't characterize the fox as deceitful and manipulative…