13May03 (Monthenor): I spent way too much time on this comic. Not consecutive time, mind you, but it's been 5 hours now since I sat down to get it done. I wish I wasn't so easily distracted. Stupid summer means stupid joggers out my stupid window...

I'm very very worried. The local Hornbacher's grocery store has, over the past month, completely phased out Red Baron Deli Pouches in favor of way too many Red Baron Stuffed Pizza Slices. This means that the two award-winning roast beef pouches in our freezer may very well be the last two in Fargo.

Hurtle the Mamby-Pamby Censors Into an iLoo at Warp 11
05.13.03 (Morgion)

First off, who's going to The Matrtix on Thursday? That's right Monty and I are. Ohh yeah! And who's depending on us to get them their tickets? I have no idea, so you better contact me if you want tickets. ;-) There, public service announcement concluded.

Apparently plane crashes are move evil than witchcraft, murder, and suicide. On Monday, TBS Superstation ran The Craft with some very curious edits. They removed all mention of the [offensive material omitted] that "killed" Sarah's parents. They even edited out the words "[offensive material omitted]" when Rochelle was explaining that it was all a glamour. Just blanked out, right in mid sentence! Bunch of _______ yellow-spotted _______ luge-mongers.

Voyager was next on our plate of bemusement. Voyager is traveling through The Void in the episode Night; no star field, nothing. After weeks of the nothingness, the ship appears to hit something, and all power goes offline; main, auxiliary, everything. Not even internal/external lights or the freaking warp core. Yet, somehow, Paris and Seven of Nine are in the holodeck, in a Captain Proton simulation, and it's still running. Oh, all the lights are off, but they're not standing on an empty grid, and everything's still in black and white. Paris is even using a holodeck flashlight to look around.

During the first half of the episode, Janeway is holed up in her cabin, brooding over her decision to destroy the Caretaker's array and strand Voyager in the Delta Quadrant. She looks quite surly and disheveled. Monty, in classic form, says "If they'd check the replicator logs, they'd see she'd been eating nothing but Vodka and Twinkies." I made the next logical step: Vodka Twinkies. Maybe we can feature those at our End of Buffy Party. Hopefully Food Satan will be available to make an appearance…

Now for the linkfest. The iLoo is a hoax, and apparently was suppose to be an April Fool's joke. I think the crowd over at FARK always knew the only thing the iLoo was good for. Unfortunately, they extend their risque hilarity to eBay auctions of malformed chicken nuggets.

The Slashdot link to the story about Tobey Maguire being fired and rehired to the Spider-Man sequel is a good read. Also, since Slashdot told me Wil Wheaton has evolved from a nerd into a geek, I've started reading the blog of "Wesley 'The Boy' Crusher". I haven't even gone blind yet! He linked to Happy Fun Pundit: Top 10 Things I Hate About Star Trek. I am disappointed they didn't mention the universally-applicable, infinitely-adaptable deflector dish.

"I hate business people."
05.14.03 (Morgion)

So sayeth Monty. Unfortunately, even though I have a degree in Management Information Systems, I must agree. Primarily because of the "dirty business people" at Microsoft.

So, the iLoo. The UK MSN division is obviously crazy. But it's not real, just a poorly-timed April Fools Joke that got lost in someone's "action item" list until May, or something.

Oh, wait, retract that. The iLoo was real, but "It didn't really map to our global branding objectives." Seriously.