01Apr05 (Monthenor): No April Fools from me. I have something a little more entertaining to discuss.

I believe I've mentioned Bisqwit's Timeattack Emporium before. It's a community of gamers who -- using emulators speed and save states -- beat games so thoroughly that Pong says "Ow!" A week ago I was seized with the desire to timeattack Cocoron. Thanks to the feedback of the Bisqwit forums I think I've finally got a contender.

Here's what you'll need:

• The FCEU emulator for NES games. Windows users have it easy as long as they have something to open "rar" files. Linux and OSX users will have to compile source code that is filled with the dreaded DOS carriage-return-line-feed problem.
• A copy of the movie file
• A copy of the CocoronJ ROM. The English translation won't work. Sadly, I have no idea where you could possibly find a copy of this ROM if you wanted to watch the movie. None at all. Nope.

Those of you who navigate all those hoops can watch a recording of me beating the holy hell out of Cocoron in 14:46. Open up FCEU, load the CocoronJ rom (File->Open), then play my movie file (File->Replay Movie). It should start from the title screen and bring swift winged pumpkin death to all who stood in my way.

Cocor0wned!

02Apr05 (Monthenor): Addendum! Two new shirt designs at the SPOOGE-GM store: Verbosity and Fish Jam. Inflate my already mammoth ego with your dollars!