It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that we do not heart Devil May Cry 2. I played for only twenty-five minutes, but in that time discovered:

• The combos are harder to pull off, and thus less fun
  
• The camera angles are more arbitrary and less helpful
  
• The enemies aren't as cool as the first
  
• That room with the floor tiles can suck me
  

I can't remember any point in the first game that put me on a very narrow bridge over a chasm while the camera stayed a good fifty yards away. I can't remember any point in the first game where the combo system seemed to actively hate me. And I can't remember any locked doors in the first game that didn't have an obvious seal or key nearby.

But in DMC2, I got all of those things! The last straw was a room in the second board. It was an empty square room, maybe twenty-five feet on a side, with one door in and one locked door out. In the center of the room are twenty-five small square tiles. Naturally, I assumed the tiles were the key to the door. So I spent five minutes slashing, shooting, electrocuting, jumping, and doing handsprings in every pattern I could think of. I targeted torches, the background coffins, the locked door...in short, everything. Everything except the one way to activate the puzzle. Nothing glowed, made sounds, or otherwise gave me any feedback on what I was supposed to do.

I checked GameFAQS later, and apparently to exit that room you need to "investigate" the locked door -- using a button that up until then had been for "acrobatic handsprings" -- and then step onto the tiles, which become an arena with enemies to fight. Not a tile-based puzzle at all. Screw you, game!

NOW IS THE TIME ON GERBILMECHS WHEN WE DANCE!

However, effective seals are no fun.