Well, you blonde strumpet, how do you feel now?
Morgion // 09.06.03 - 10.17

That's what you are, you know, whoring yourself out the ignorant, impudent masses that will pay to watch the fabled Sarah Michelle Gellar talents—um, I mean, "talent"—in Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (in theaters… I'll watch it, but only on video; shut up, I know it's wrong, let me writhe in agony in peace).

Will your movie career be enough to satiate your ego? Magic 8 Ball says, "Don't count on it": two words, Romantic-fucking-Comedy. Is the idolatry of teeny-boppers and pot heads so much better than the geek and the goth? Buffy was mainstreamed, you could have had them both! But you wrecked 'em; you left the show! Yet what news recently crossed the wires? SMG wants to guest star on Angel! It's on the cover of TV Guide!

But you can't have it back, not really. Your Scoobies—pardon me while I marinate in the bitter coincidence—have moved on with their lives (except Anya *sniff*… and I also mean Emma Caulfield's career). You're a discontinued (twice!) model, what with a whole flippin' world full of Slayers. For that, I think Joss went to the bad place from whence came Alien: Resurrection.

Now all you have is Freddie Prinze Jr.… and I hope you realize that Mr. Jr. is already involved with Matthew Lillard; it's a package deal.

06Sep03 (Monthenor): As much as I like to make fun of Airborne Express, it's much more important that I received my iPod without incident. The delivery guy actually came all the way up to my door and took my signature. From his fresh face, cheery disposition, and adherence to shipping procedures, I can only assume that he's a new hire.

Sleaze leading drunks leading… you, NDSU Student. HA!
Morgion // 09.06.03 - 11.13

I hate the Spectrum. Not the EM spectrum, you dolt! It's the student newspaper for NDSU. For that matter, I also hate NDSU Student Government.

For those of you unfamiliar with the rampant stupidity, read the letter to the editor from Josh Swanson, the Student Body President Who Wasn't. What kind of person supports drunken poli-sci sleaze? Erik Yantzer, in his letter entitled "Where's our Swanny??"

Yantzer does bring up—brace yourself, it's shocking—a good point (even though it couldn't have been intentional, and I know he doesn't understand its ramifications). Because I am not an underhanded journalist, I will quote him completely, instead of using the evil ellipses to which Johnny Depp fell victim.

"I strongly feel that student government and the administration are too indecisive"—Ah ha! You said it!—"and afraid to implement the direct action programs Swanson would have brought to the table."

I guess now we'll never know what these fantastic "direct action programs" are. Darn.

06Sep03 (Monthenor): Perhaps Swanson had a great brand-new idea to clean up the student listserv! Like, if we could only separate it into a list of campus-wide emergency information and organization announcements! That would be a great direct action program that nobody has ever tried to implment before, least of all us, as it would directly benefit the students!