Monty and Morgion 050: Dur, I'm Cooking!

20Jun03 (Monthenor): Yay, making fun of my cooking. That's always good for a cheap laugh YOU BASTARDS. My cooking has gone quite well this week, thank you very much. No thanks to this book, (not) available through Monkeys at Typewriters, although if it was I think I would buy it.

Just got back from seeing The Hulk, and although it is not quite as good as Spiderman or X-Men it's still a damn sight better than Daredevil. It takes a while to get rolling, and frankly the last ten minutes could have been cut entirely, but in between it is the quintessential comic-book movie. It also makes some interesting choices about its presentation in a comic-book format. Once you get used to it, it's not too bad, but it's dizzying at first during all the non-action.

And now I'm off to wait at B&N for some book I'm not even going to buy for myself.

Whole milk 4evah, BEEYATCH!

22Jun03 (Monthenor): So I went to the Joan Jett concert at the county fair last night. State fair? No idea, it's a pretty standard fair. Anyway, concert. Vixen and I arrived at around 8:30 and arrowed right for the beer gardens to fill up our 32-oz mugs with something tasty. We caught the last thirty minutes (three songs) of the opening band, which neither of us identified as Foghat until they played Slow Ride for their encore. Hell, I didn't know opening bands got encores.

It was finally time for Joan Jett to get set up, but her roadies were racing against a very evil-looking wall of black clouds that we could see coming straight for us. The crowd was putting on a brave face with what looked like impending doom bearing down upon us. All of a sudden, the crowd as one decides that they needed to run for their cars. I hadn't seen any lightning yet, and I sure didn't feel any rain, but the better part of the crowd started running for the parking lot. It's the kind of response you would get by yelling "cat fight". Unfortunately, Vixen and I did not have the resolve to stay much longer than them: rain started blowing in and the roadies were putting up tarps over the drum set. By the time we got back to my car, we were both thoroughly soaked. The upshot was that we had both had enough time to finish our mugs.

The plan changed to include Dairy Queen and Heathers. We picked up our frozen treats, and in order to make the first turn back towards Vixen's place I had to kinda cut someone off. That someone turned out to be a cop. He followed me for about two blocks before finally turning on his lights and pulling us over. He said that brakes had to be "dynamited" to avoid "T-boning" me, slang which seems to come directly from Mars. Fortunately he didn't feel like writing out a $60 fine to a first-time offender in the pouring rain for slightly reckless driving. If he noticed two empty fair mugs on the passenger side floor he didn't mention it.

Immediately after pulling out of the parking lot where we stopped, some twit made a left turn from the middle lane right in front of both me and the cop. I'm pretty sure the cop didn't even follow him.

Heathers was good, although once again I was assaulted by slang that came from another world. And the DVD revealed the original ending (in Lots-A-Reading(tm) script format), which totally blows goats. It was horrible. Also, the "making-of" feature reinforced that Wynona Ryder is now and forevermore cute, but should never be allowed to speak.

So it's now 1AM as I pulled away from Vixen's house. Down the street, just before my turn, I saw the headlights of a car that had inexplicably stopped on the No Parking side. As I inched closer, I stared into the headlights (bad idea) and wondered what exactly they think they're doing. It's only as I came abreast of the car that two important thoughts hit me simultaneously:

  • The car is a white stretch limo, using its limoness to flaunt the parking rules for a time.

There was no actual screeching of my brakes, but I think she got the idea. She had the sense to look sheepish about it. So I waited for a bit to make sure no other girls were coming, and just as I hit the gas another blonde darted out in front of my car. Again, I pounded on the brakes, and the first blonde is now laughing at the second blonde, who doesn't seem to find it nearly as funny. I stared at them as they crossed and got all the way out of the street. The girls are now out of the street, so I hit the gas and--

Another girl ran in front of my car. It's like a bad SNL sketch at this point. The third girl was definitely in hitting-with-car range, and I don't think a jury in the world would convict me. I stomped on my poor brakes yet again and hung my head in defeat, making sure the girls could see it. I glared at them as I successfully inched my way past the back end of the limo.

The rest of the trip home was thankfully uneventful. I don't know how much more excitement a homebody like me could take.

Apple is a whore. Apple is a nun.
Morgion // 06.23.03 - 15.05

There is now a second problem with my PowerBook; sometimes blueish pixels… well, freak out. They develop a rolling static all unto themselves. When compared with the original image, the distortion is pretty noticeable. It is also something that Apple technicians will admit is covered under warranty, unlike my other problem. They'll even offer to put a note in your file, so that when the technicians notice the scrape on the screen, they don't delay repairs to ask if you'd like to bend over and pay for the repairs.

What the friendly technician will not tell you is that, even though she offered to add the note, she won't actually do it. When I had second thoughts and called back in to have the note removed, I was thrilled to find it had never existed in the first place. By "thrilled" I mean "darkly amused that Apple technicians had added another shovel-full to their own graves", because things like that make great stories for the Customer Service representatives.

But all is not lost. I went to The Computer Place today, spoke with their Apple Certified Technician, and finally heard "well that should be covered by warranty" by someone that can actually make it happen. He said that if the screen scrape wasn't fixed after I get the laptop back, I should let him know, and he would make sure it gets fixed. Booyah!

So why is Apple a whore? Because they put me through hell over the last week when I spent several thousand dollars on their pretty toy. Word to the wise: find friendly and competent technicians in your area, always take your problems to them, never contact Apple about them. Unless you like squandering all your cell minutes on them.

Apple is also a whore because of the ass-tastic front of the new G5 PowerMacs. Apparently Jonathan Ive was too busy accepting the Design Museum's Designer of the Year (Flash intensive) to actually design the new tower. "Armani of technology" my limey ass. But, I guess if you need nine fans, you have to perforate your case.

Bottom line: Apple hardware is powerful and stylish (with only a few questionable design decisions), and the operating system is advanced and powerful. Although, Panther (OS X 10.3) appears to be even less user friendly, acording to usability geeks; way to go Apple. These MacSlash comments pertain to the leaked (fake?) screenshots of Panther , but the features that receive the most gripes actually are in Panther.

Apple systems may not perfect, but cast off your Wintel chains and buy one! You (probably) won't be sorry. But if you ever need your system fixed, don't contact Apple directly; they are a giant corporate steamroller and won't think twice about turning you to mush.