28Jan05 (Monthenor): Here, at long last, is GM 120. See, it was going to be all humorous and light and haha! And then my car was murdered.

How is my car? I'm glad I pretended you asked. A lot has happened since Tuesday, and not much of it has been progress. After posting my sad missive Tuesday afternoon I got right on the task of contacting insurance people and trying to get my car a decent burial. My insurance lady (call her "Mrs. D") had never heard of Integon Insurance company, but would look into it.

Tuesday, 2000 hours: I had taken the drastic investigative step of typing "integon.com" into FireFox, which aliased to GMAC Insurance and yielded a phone number. I called the claims department to see if I could get a progress report. I hadn't heard word one from them, so I thought I'd force the issue. At first GMAC couldn't locate any policy at that number, and then came up with a policy issued for somebody in Virginia. For the casual reader, I will remind you that I (and Ms. Cause, supposedly) live in Fargo, North Dakota.

(Cue the ominous music)

2020: Immediately after I learned this little tidbit I called my police officer back. I left a voicemail that phrased it like he might possibly have transposed some policy number digits, but hinted that there might be foul play. I asked him to call me back and give me any more information he might have.

Wednesday, 1000: I tried GMAC again, this time using the "Local Agent Locator" menu option instead of "Claims Service". They told me that they had no local ND agents and I needed to talk to Integon itself. I was transferred to Integon, who claimed that the policy number I held was not an Integon policy at all, but GMAC. Curious, that.

(Cellos crescendo, violin screeches)

I called Mrs. D to see if she had made any progress. In the 18 hours since we last talked, she had still not made the Integon == GMAC connection. I gave her "integon.com" and she promised to look into it. She had left a message on Ms. Cause's voice mail asking for more contact and insurance info.

1120: I couldn't leave my car out there all week. It was a speed trap scarecrow, which was amusing but would probably result in another accident. I called Border Cities Service, a towing/storage service that is literally a block away, to come get my car. They said it would be 30-45 minutes before the wrecker got there, and he'd call when he arrived.

50 minutes later my car had disappeared. I assume it got where it needed to go.

1430: I left a voicemail message with Ms. Cause. It occurred to me that the problem could be that she doesn't even know who she hit. Maybe her insurance company wanted to call me but couldn't. I left my info and asked her to call me back with an update.

(Cellos, softer now, pizzacato)

Thursday, 1000: Here's where my notes break down a little bit. This just says "STILL NOTHING" because that's exactly what I had. Ms. Cause hadn't called me, Integon hadn't called me, the cop hadn't called me, Border Cities hadn't called me...

1530: "I STAB MY HEAD!"

1555: I called Mrs. D, hoping for good news. In the 30 hours since we last talked, she found absolutely no more information on Integon. I gave her the 800 number to call and inwardly hoped that she is not actually incompetent.

(Soft tympani rumble)

Friday, 1200: "Holy crap this sucks"

1205: I called the police again, determining that maybe they could break the three days of stonewalling. My officer was once again not available and I left another voice mail. I still only hinted about exactly how angry I am with Ms. Cause, but I do recall using the phrase "At which point does this become a criminal matter?"

1345: For once, Mrs. D called me. She had finally managed to call Ms. Cause. It seems that Ms. Cause was very monosyllabic and unhelpful (no, really?), but D did manage to get the phone number of her mother, who supposedly actually owns the insurance. That's no big deal, my insurance is still officially through my dad. However, Mrs. D did notice that Ms. Cause used certain...odd phrasings. Things that suggested that Ms. Cause was only now trying to get insurance, after the fact. The term "small claims court" came up a few times.

(Sudden string crescendo, a lone trumpet blasts three bars of melody)

1435: After that disheartening talk, and upon the advice of Justice, I arranged for Collision Experts Inc. to tow my car out of Border Cities' lot and do an estimate. The guy at Collision Experts was sympathetic and says he won't charge a storage fee if I can resolve this with a quickness. Word!

That's where the matter stands right now, Friday at 1520. More later, I'm sure.