GerbilMechs 038 : Dismissal

11Mar03 (Monthenor): Fair warning, I'm taking next week (Spring Break) off. Off from everything. No comic, no homework, no work. Nothing but video games, food, and movies from Sunday to Sunday. Hopefully I'll have quite a bit to say when I get back, or I may just be tired. Or maybe I'll forget how to draw and we'll have to all pretend there are pictures up there. Who knows?

If you please, I'd like to go off on a Morgion-esque media rant for a moment. I'm not totally opposed to the idea of CNN Headline gives me a fluffy morning digest of "stories" and weather while I'm eating brekkist. But recently CNN has begun pimping their new morning show with Paula Zahn. The ad says something like "finally, hard news stories from a morning show. Paula Zahn asks the tough questions you want to hear" yadda yadda. Then there are some quotes from Zahn interviews that would be laughable if they weren't considered legitimate CNN reporting. It's like Paula Zahn is playing an anchorwoman in a SciFi Original Movie. Unfortunately it's not just her, either. All the anchors they show in the commercial have substituted insightful questioning with dramatic pauses in the middle of their lame softball questions. A toothless, phlegmatic hobo could ask better questions of these people.

I finally responded to a popular request from last year: Crazy Talk is now subtitled in English for those pussies who can't read Jellese.

BREAKING NEWS! You know that remake of Willard starring Crispin Glover? Well...this is the creepiest thing you'll see all year.

"I'd like to apologize to the Academy…"
03.11.03 (Morgion)

First, I apologize for Monty's evil hyperlinking (in case you haven't noticed, "homework" above is actually two links); it reminds me of the "uber-1337" posters on Slashdot who's only success is degrading site usability. I should make an award for that… perhaps a "100% Pure Suck" stamp. ;-)

Second, I apologize for making everything in our fridge have a hint of butterscotch. Earlier I mixed up some butterscotch Schnapps and Coke, and it got a bit thick. So I poured half into another glass, set it in the fridge, and went about diluting the other half. The stuff in the fridge must have sensed what was coming next, and ordered all butterscotch particles to the escape pods. Then, when I didn't return to the fridge to consume it, the butterscotch thought great tragedy had been averted… I assume they went back to the glass. Some, seeing the vast world that existed outside their small, blue-glass haven (and wisely realizing I'd eventually get thirsty again and consume the cradle of their civilization), packed up their bags and left to colonize the plentiful bounty of our foodstuffs. So, yadda yadda yadda, my turkey sandwich had a butterscotch undertone.

However, I will not apologies for looking forward to SciFi's upcoming presentation of Riverworld. Monty claims it will be just like that other dihydrogen monoxide based movie (which completely ignores the cover up), except with more dirt. I do not deny that may be the case. However, it's visually interesting (much like Lexxthanks again, SciFi — or The Core, tee hee!), and I always like to give a film a chance before passing unilateral judgment. Need I remind you disbelievers of Moulin Rouge?

Besides, if you don't see it, how can you mock it? Not very well, that's how.

I will also not apologize for watching The Brave Little Toaster on the Disney Channel… this show kicks so much ass. One of the few things I can thank the 80s for giving me. However, I take the interplanetary hijinks of small appliances a sign of society's degradation in the late 20th century. Of course, Monty and I are going to have a great time going into Blockbuster and asking, "Do you have The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars?"

In closing, I have sad news: Riverworld is the last work of Kevin Smith. May he burn his name across the earth in a fiery swath of destruction; he will be missed.

Fill 'er up with not nothing.
03.11.03 (Morgion)